Asylum of the Logically Insane

Saturday, November 19, 2005
The Inefficiencies of Certain Gentlemanly Behaviours

1. Leaving the toilet seat down

This one is so obviously inefficient that it requires little explanation. In a house where both men and women share the toilet, some women will demand that the men put the toilet seat down after using it. Clearly, we see that this is a redundant step if the next person who uses the toilet is a man. If we adopt the system where the next person who wants to use the toilet adjusts the seat himself/herself accordingly, there would be no unnecessary adjustments of the toilet seat.

This not only saves effort but also extends the lifespan of the toilet seat as the hinges does not wear out as quickly. In fact, if you perform a quick approximate calculation considering a toilet with equal but random male and female usage (assuming the male only uses it for peeing), you make 50% less toilet seat adjustments by leaving the toilet seat the way it is after use.

Some people would argue that this scheme is analogous to washing the dishes only when you want to use them but that is just plain stupid. What we have here is a false analogy. First, you would never want to use dirty plates for your next meal but some users might actually want to use the toilet with the seat placed up. Second, between this meal and the next, dirty dishes are really gross and can stink. However, toilet seats left up for a long time does not produce undesirable side effects in any way.

2. Offering help, food and drinks

This one irks me the most.

It is generally considered gentlemanly if you offer help without being asked or occasionally ask "Are you hungry? Do you want me to get you a drink?". Yes, it is nice when people are so considerate and sensitive to your needs but it is also bloody inefficient.

Compare the two approaches. Number 1: Periodically offer assistance to someone carrying heavy looking objects. Number 2: Help only when the person carrying the heavy object asks for it.

The first approach is what is known as 'polling' in computer engineering. The CPU periodically asks the keyboard, mouse, etc. whether there is any new input. The second approach is called 'interrupt'. The CPU ignores the other components and performs its own tasks. Whenever there is new input, the keyboard sends a signal to interrupt the CPU, telling it that there is new input to be processed. It doesn't take a genius to realize which is more efficient or which method most computers use. Polling is so inefficient that if your computer uses polling for all its processes, you probably wouldn't be reading this right now.

In short, you can't be a perfect gentleman and absolutely efficient at the same time. They don't call it cold-blooded efficiency for nothing.

Posted at 11:47 AM

1 Comments:

Ok I'll tell you directly if i need help next time, hahaha!
By Julia, at 11:30 AM